Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Advice to new moms

To those of my bloggy friends who are expecting their first child, or who are hoping to conceive soon, I really only have one piece of advice. Take things one day at a time. There are about 4325135 things I could tell you I wish I had known before I became a mother, but the truth is, I read the books. I talked to other moms. And I still didn't feel "prepared" until I did it myself. Parenting is one of those things that you just have to do to know how you're going to do it.

When I was pregnant, I had all these ideas about how things would be. According to the plans in my head, I would have a fantastic vaginal birth. I would breastfeed without issue for at least six months. I would never bedshare with my baby. I would limit his TV time and read books to him constantly.

Well, then I became a mother, and it was amazing how many of my plans changed in an instant. After going into labor on my own, I had a long labor followed by a c-section. I had tons of issues breastfeeding and ended up switching Colin to formula at around 4 weeks of age. Exhausted and desperate, I brought him into bed with me sometimes when nothing else worked. And, let's face it - the hubs and I can both recite every word to the theme songs of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Special Agent Oso and Jungle Junction.

Colin @ 10 months and Mommy
The point is, you have to do what's best for you and your baby. You have to take things one day at a time and expect the unexpected. And most importantly, you have to learn to be flexible. As soon as you accept that there will be a LOT of things beyond your control, you'll be a better parent. That's how it was for me, anyway. I was SO unsure about being a new mom, and how to know exactly what this fragile little creature wanted and needed from me, but once I had a chance to care for him and be his mommy, I learned the ins and outs of my baby. I got to know all of his little quirks, and after a while, we got into a nice rhythm. If you're unsure right now, don't worry. Things will fall into place. If you're not unsure yet, you probably haven't given birth. Just a heads up: you WILL experience the uncertainty that we all have in the beginning. You WILL have moments of fear, exhaustion, and you will wonder "am I doing this right?" Those thoughts are natural, and they simply mean that you are a good mother and that you want what's best for your child.

The bottom line: you can do it. 


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