Unpopular Parenting

When our kids were tiny, we thought only of their immediate needs. Feedings, diaper changes, naps, bath time, more feedings, more diaper changes... you get the idea. As they are starting to grow and develop into little men, though, my husband and I have noticed a shift in our thinking. Suddenly, we aren't as focused on their basic needs; instead, we're gaining more of a big-picture view of their growth and development. For the first time, we are starting to picture them as adults. As men. We are thinking about how we should raise them; what we want them (and don't want them) to learn early on. We are thinking about the expectations we have of them, and for them. Of the amazing people we know they have the potential to become, and what we can do to help them reach that potential.

As we think through these things, we are starting to make decisions - some big, some small - that we believe will benefit our children and help them as they grow into the people they are going to be.

Basically, we want to raise healthy kids. We want them to be healthy physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. As their parents, we believe we have a huge responsibility to point them in the right direction, and that is the root of the recent conversations we've had.

So, what exactly am I talking about? Well, let me start with some of the smaller things. We try to limit our boys' sugar intake. They don't drink sweet tea or full-strength fruit juices. We do buy apple juice, but we usually dilute it with water. Do we freak out if our kids are given a juice box or some other sugary concoction? No. "Everything in moderation" is the main idea here. We just don't want our children to be addicted to sugar. We also try to choose healthy snacks between dinner and bedtime. Our boys like to eat, and they like to snack. I don't have a problem with this, as long as they aren't fueling up on sugar right before it's time to go to sleep. We switch to milk or water, too, and save the juice for the daytime.

Another choice is that we don't watch age-inappropriate TV shows or movies in front of the kids. We don't have specific rules about TV time, but we do let our kids watch "their" shows occasionally. Even then, though, we try to choose things with educational value. Wallykazam and Bubble Guppies are the current favorites in our home. If the hubs and I want to watch something a little more grown-up, we wait until the kids are asleep. Unfortunately, this means that we don't get to watch "our" shows or movies very often, but it's a sacrifice we are willing to make to protect our kids' hearts and minds while we still can.

As far as the bigger decisions we've made... I feel like I need to start with a disclaimer. These are the choices we've made for ourselves and our children, and if you do things differently, please know that we don't feel judgmental toward you at all. Having said that, we have decided to be honest with our kids about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and any other mythical figureheads that may arise throughout their childhoods. This is for several reasons, the biggest one being that we just didn't feel right essentially lying to our kids. We both grew up with Santa, and it was fun while it lasted, but we would rather make Jesus Christ the central focus of Christmas, and especially Easter.

So, what does this mean for our kids? Will we deprive them of presents? Of Easter baskets filled with candy? Will we banish all images of Santa from our household? Will we forego the ever popular Christmas tree?!?

To answer those questions quickly: No, no, no, and no.

Again, our motto is "everything in moderation." We don't believe the idea of Santa is dangerous in and of itself, and we will certainly continue to give gifts at Christmas, and fun little baskets of treats on Easter morning. The way we see it, it's all about the way the gifts are presented, and the teaching of Biblical ideas and concepts that will color each holiday celebration. For example, we give gifts at Christmas because God sent us the ultimate gift by sending his son to be born, live, and die for us. The Santa story is a beautiful example of how to be selfless and find pleasure in giving to others. At Easter time, we decorate eggs to symbolize the new life we are given through Christ.

I realize our views may not be popular. We know people on both extreme ends of the spectrum. Those who will think we're crazy for not doing the Santa thing, and those who will think we're crazy for not going all-in and shunning anything "of the world." To those people, I would say that these are our convictions, and ours alone. We're okay with not being the cool parents in every regard. I'm willing to be unpopular for my kids' sake.


We sure aren't perfect, but we're doing the best we can. We love these crazy little people so much, and we want the best for them.


What decisions and sacrifices have you had to make for the benefit of your children? If you haven't thought about these things yet, I encourage you to. Please feel free to talk to me; I'm an open book and am willing to discuss any thoughts or questions you may have. We're all in this thing together, moms and dads!