I've always wanted to breastfeed. With Colin, I only made it a few weeks before throwing in the towel. It was not, as I discovered, as "natural" and easy as I had heard it described. My first experience with nursing was that it was painful and stressful. I had a constant fear that I wasn't producing enough for my baby. Colin was losing weight and jaundiced, and as soon as we got past one hurdle, something else would pop up. It was frustrating and neither of us was happy, so we formula fed him from there on out. Please know that I take no issue with moms who choose to formula feed, but in my case I was upset that my original plan didn't work out, and I had some self-inflicted guilt to work through as a result.
When we found out we were expecting baby #2, I knew I wanted to give breastfeeding another try. I felt like I owed it to myself. My attitude this time was different though, given the way the first attempt had gone. I went into it with the thought that if it didn't work out, it would be okay, but that I would give it my best shot.
Yes, there were still hurdles this time. Reid spent the first six days of his life in the NICU with a feeding tube, so I couldn't nurse him and had to pump instead. I had awful engorgement issues for those entire six days. My breasts were HUGE and ugly and had red splotches and golf ball sized lumps. I hated it.
But then, the day my baby was discharged from the hospital, he latched on for the first time, and he did it beautifully. My milk came in, he continued to latch well, and we never looked back. I have also had the hurdle of having to pump at work to provide for him while he's at daycare all day Monday through Friday. Pumping has taken a lot of time and energy, and it has certainly not been easy, but we've made it work and it has become a part of my routine.
Well, my little Reid man will be 10 months old on Friday, and we're still truckin' along. He loves to nurse but also takes his bottles well at daycare. He is still waking up at night, in part because he's teething and in part, I think, because he just misses me. I know he's old enough to let him cry it out according to certain methods, but honestly it isn't that big a deal to me so I continue to get up and nurse him. He breastfeeds 3-4 times a day and takes two bottles at daycare, and he is also doing really well with stage 3 baby food and certain finger foods. He loves puffs and yogurt melts, and he has tried avocado, potato, mandarin oranges and pear. Of those, he only really liked the potatoes and pears. I'm not pushing new foods too hard yet, because he still only has two teeth and he eats his baby food so well.
Oh, and speaking of teeth, he did bite me a few times when they first came in. Um, ouch. When that happened, I took the advice of a friend and pressed his face into my breast, which startled him and made him let go. It only took maybe three or four times before he figured it out and stopped biting.
Overall, my takeaway from this second chance at breastfeeding is that it is challenging at times, but also convenient in a lot of ways. I'm not sure I'm any more bonded to Reid than I would be if we were bottle feeding, although it did give us a lot of good cuddle time in the beginning when he would nurse constantly. A major plus is that my baby weight has fallen right off, so hooray for the calorie burning aspect. Basically, there have been ups and downs, but when all is said and done I am really glad I stuck with it. It has been good for both Reid and for me in a lot of ways, and I am so very thankful it's still working for us. Pregnant moms, if you're on the fence about breastfeeding, and new moms, if you're thinking about throwing in the towel, let me encourage you to set a short term goal and give it your all. With Reid, it took a good few weeks to get into a rhythm where nursing was easy for both of us, so keep that in mind, too. And please, please don't hesitate to find a good lactation consultant or contact your local La Leche League for help. There are a ton of great resources out there if you look.
Let me know if you have any questions, mamas - I'm an open book!
More to come.
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