"I don't know how you do it."

Whenever I meet someone and strike up a conversation, the fact that I'm a working mom with two little boys always comes up. They'll ask how old my kids are, and I'll answer "2 and 4." The other person will say something like, "Oh, wow!" or "That's crazy!" or "Time flies" or "Are you going to try for a girl next?" (ugh) But more times than I can count, the response has been, "I don't know how you do it."

Can I let you in on a little secret? Neither do I.

I could say something clever, like, "With a little bit of coffee and a whole lot of Jesus." Which is true.

But if we're being real, there are a few little tricks that have helped me to cope with working a full time job outside the home, keeping the spark alive in my marriage and raising two man-cubs.

I have made expectations more realistic.

I used to get all bent out of shape because our house is never clean. Well, you know what? I have decided not to care about it anymore. There are so many other things I could be doing on a week night than picking up toys (which will only end up in the same spot mere hours later) or dusting the TV stand (that no one will see except us). Things like playing with trains on the floor with my boys, or being a customer in an imaginary restaurant or a passenger on a train. The cleaning can wait.

I have minimized my morning routine.

Don't get me wrong; I'm a girl who enjoys getting dressed up and going out once in a while. But who has time for a full hair and makeup routine every day? Not me. I do put on makeup for work, but I stick with the essentials: BB Cream, concealer, pressed powder, blush, a touch of eye shadow and mascara. The whole process takes like six minutes. As for my hair, I either wear it up in a clip or bun or wash and dry it the night before and touch it up with a flat iron in the morning.

I have reminded myself to be silly.

Busy people often have a bad habit of taking life too seriously. Some days, I feel like all I've done is work, worry, and discipline the kids. Why not do something silly and unexpected to break up the monotony? There's nothing like a good family dance party to lighten everyone's mood! Or sometimes we will all take turns telling knock-knock jokes (most of which don't make any sense and make us laugh even harder). Our kids also love to be tickled. And I do not. Which they, of course, take FULL advantage of.

I have made more of an effort to plan out our meals and shop accordingly.

Okay, so I am certainly not perfect in this area, but we've come a long way from eating fast food 3 or 4 times a week. Throughout the work week, as I have time, I use Pinterest and AllRecipes.com for meal inspiration and I make a rough menu for the week. Next, starting with the ingredients for the menu items and finally adding snacks, paper products, and whatever else we need, I write out a grocery list in order of where things are located in the store. (This may sound tedious, but it doesn't take much longer and it saves me so much time in the grocery store.) I usually get my shopping done on Saturday, either first thing in the morning or during nap time, while Justin stays home with the kids. About once a month, due to a severe lapse in judgment, we'll go shopping as a family and then swear to never do it again.. but inevitably, a month later, we'll try again.

I should note that we don't plan a meal for every single day of the week. We like to be flexible, so a couple days are left open for pizza, or cold-cut sandwiches, or whatever we're in the mood for.

I have prioritized my marriage.

Mignon McLaughlin once said, "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." Marriage is hard. Marriage with children is really hard. Marriage with children and two full-time jobs is crazy hard. Yes, there are days when we snap at each other for no good reason. There are days when we barely have the chance to talk until it's time for bed, and by then we're too tired. But because we love each other and want to make it work, we put in the effort. We fight to keep our love alive. Sometimes that means finding someone to watch the kids and sneaking away for a much-needed date. Sometimes, it means tucking the kids into their beds and cuddling on the couch as we watch some DVR'd episodes of our favorite TV shows. Sometimes, it's unloading the dishwasher together.

The point is, we know that our marriage is the foundation of our family. That if our relationship is stable and we're working together as a team, rather than against each other, our kids will see it and they will notice.

I have prayed.

Sometimes I'm so tired or frustrated that all I can do is sit in silence at the end of the day and pray for contentment. Our marriage is the foundation of our family, and God is the foundation of our marriage. See how that works? Faith is the glue that holds it all together. In those moments that I feel lost or fed up or I just don't know what to do, I pray. And God listens.

I am so blessed, and so thankful.

That's how I do it.

A few things this working mom wants you to know

Hi there. I'm Katie. Devoted wife and mother of dragons (well, two little boys, but that's basically the same thing). My husband and I both work full-time outside the home. 

Lately it feels like there aren't a whole lot of people in our inner circle who are in the same situation as we are. Many of our friends either don't have kids yet, or have one parent who is able to stay home with the little ones.

Here are some things I'd like those friends to know:

1. Even though it may not seem like it, I really DO want to spend time with you. It's just that my daily life is so hectic that I'm not left with much free time at all. This is how I spend a typical week day:

That's about 6.5 hours of sleep, 8.5 hours at work, 1.5 hours commuting, 1 hour for meals, 3.5 hours as a family, half an hour for housework, and about 2.5 "free" hours to spend with my husband. This doesn't include the time it takes to shower, pick out the kids' clothes, change a diaper, or any of those other little things that may come up.

2. If you want to make plans with both my hubby and me, we will probably try to include the kids. See #1. Simply put, we're away from them all day Monday through Friday, so we miss them and want to keep them close through the weekend.

3. I'm so tired. Getting up around 5:30 every morning to dress and feed sleepy children (and with any luck, myself), getting them to school by 7 and ourselves to work by 8 is exhausting.

4. Our house is often messy. Once upon a time, we tried to keep it tidy. Now and then we still do. But when we've worked all day and the kids are begging us to come outside and play... the house can wait.

5. I've pinned so many awesome recipes on Pinterest that will I will probably never make. I have such good intentions when it comes to feeding my family home-cooked meals and doing cutesy crafts with the kiddos, but once again, there's just no time. We have so few waking hours together as a family each day, and #sorrynotsorry, but I don't want to spend half of that time cleaning the kitchen. Meals in our house have to be quick, easy, and require as few pots and pans as possible.

6. I'm thankful for you. Yes, you. Church acquaintance, fellow daycare mom, colleague, family member, lifelong friend. I see you, and I know that we're all in this together. When I'm feeling burned out and like there just isn't enough of me to go around, you're still there for me. You don't judge me for feeding my family Taco Bell on a Thursday night when I just can't even. You see me smile at church through gritted teeth as one of my kids pulls my shirt down and the other soaks himself at the drinking fountain, and you give me a hug and a knowing smile back. You don't say anything when I wear the same pants two days in a row because I forgot to put the laundry in the dryer. You see me, and you show me grace. So thank you.

Just Some Thoughts

I've always been an idealist. Growing up, I thought a lot about the future. About my life as a wife and a mother. I pictured myself snuggling babies, cooking beautiful meals, going on dates with my husband, raising obedient children. Basically having it all together.

It's funny how reality can pull the rug right out from under us sometimes.

The truth is, my babies do like to snuggle, but it's usually when I'm in the middle of doing something. Or they both want to snuggle me at once and it's all fun and games until someone pulls my hair, stretches out my clothing or smears food on me.

I do cook the occasional meal, but not very often. My full time job doesn't allow for a whole lot of time to prepare fancy breakfasts and dinners (and clean up after them!). My kids eat fast food more than I'd like to admit.

My husband and I do go out on dates every now and then, but they're usually quick and in the middle of the day, because that's when we're able to get someone to watch the kids.

Oh, and the part about the obedient children? HA! I had two boys in two years. "Obedience" is not yet a part of their vocabulary. I say jump, they say "why?"

It was really, really hard having a two year old and a newborn, but it's also really, really hard having an almost-four year old and an almost-two year old. It's just hard in different ways. Colin fits the "threenager" stereotype perfectly. One minute he's the sweetest boy ever, kissing my cheek and telling me I look like a princess, and the next he's shoving his brother and telling me to "stop it" for no good reason and putting smeary fingerprints all over the TV just because he can.

Reid, of course, is learning from his big brother, and from the kids at daycare. He's so adorable and so smart that sometimes I almost forget to discipline rather than chuckling at his toddler tantrums. But discipline I must.

To add to the craziness, Colin broke his arm in October. It happened at preschool. He was apparently getting ready to go down a pretty steep slide on his belly when another boy pushed him, causing him to go down so quickly that he put out his arm to catch himself and, bam - he fractured his humerus, right at the top of his arm, below his shoulder. Thankfully we missed the growth plates and there won't be any permanent damage, but he has had to wear a tiny sling for a month and has had to keep his feet on the floor which is NOT easy for a three year old, very active boy. He even had to wear his sling over his Spider-Man costume on Halloween.

In other news, I celebrated my 29th birthday last week. (Ummm, what? Am I seriously this close to 30?) My parents came down from Michigan for a quick visit and we were all able to go out for a birthday dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant, which was nice. I have also enjoyed redeeming some birthday freebies at Moe's, Starbucks and Arby's. Have I ever mentioned that I'm a sucker for coupons and free stuff? I mean, who isn't, but I think I get more joy over something free than the average person.

And speaking of joy, I am extremely excited for the upcoming holiday season. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Eve are my favorite, favorite holidays. As hectic as my life is right now, there is so much to be thankful for, and I am always especially reminded of the blessings this time of year. We have our health (well, sort of... the hubs tested positive for strep AND the flu this week..), our home, our jobs, and the love of friends and family. Looking at the big picture, our lives are pretty great.

However... if anyone wants to volunteer to help clean my house, stock my pantry or babysit the kids for about a week while Justin and I fly far, far away... just let me know. ;)

More to come.

I'm still here!

Hi there. :) It's been a while; sorry about that. This blog has pretty much been a giant roller coaster for me. I'll hit a peak and feel inspired to write and document everything for a bit, and then I'll come to a valley where I'm not feeling quite as inspired, and I'd rather not write anything than write "fluff." Although I'm afraid there won't be anything inspiring about this post, so I guess in a way I'm contradicting myself, aren't I? Regardless, I just wanted to let you know that I'm still here.

Because I work at a University, in years past I've been bored to tears over the summer, but this year is different. I've gained new and different responsibilities, and we've had a pretty sizable turnover in staffing, so I've also been training and helping out wherever I can. That has kept me busy, and I'm not complaining, but it certainly makes it harder to think about much else during the work week.

Colin and Reid are, as expected, growing by leaps and bounds. At 3 1/2, Colin is as strong willed as he's ever been, but we see more and more glimpses that he's growing up. He is such a helper with his little brother, which is an incredibly sweet thing to witness. Reid is loving, sensitive, and very much a Momma's boy. They both are, really, but Reid still wants to be held and cuddled quite a bit. And who am I to say no to that?!

Until I find the time - or until inspiration strikes - here's a little peek into our world.

Things I don't want to forget

Let’s be honest. As parents, there are moments we’d rather not remember. Like the times our kids have thrown up on us, or the bumps and bruises they’ve had, or teething, or the long, sleepless nights. But there are so many little moments that whiz by when your kids are young, and as precious as they are, many of those moments pass by so quickly that we forget about them. Here are a few of the things I don’t ever want to forget.

The curls. Oh, the curls.

• The way Reid snuggles his blankie (“bay-bwee”), plays with the tag and sucks his thumb when he’s sleepy.
• Colin’s crazy prayer requests. When I asked Colin what we should pray for the other night, his answer was, “that baby Reid won’t take my stuff. It’s MY stuff.”
• The way both kids eat a donut like it’s the last one they’ll ever eat (and then ask for more with their mouths still full).
  
• Colin’s amazing golden curls. He gets compliments everywhere we go.
• Reid's voracious appetite. He will eat and eat until his little belly pokes out.
• The way they both still run to me for cuddles when they fall and get "owies."
• The way Colin recently came to my bedside in the middle of the night to ask for help finding his stuffed puppy (which had fallen between his bed and the wall), and then, upon finding it, snuggled right back under his covers like a little angel and went right back to sleep.
• The way Reid smiles with his entire face. It's contagious.
• The way my boys light up at the end of the day when I pick them up at daycare.
• The love Colin and Reid have for each other, and the excitement on their faces when they see one another first thing in the morning and at the end of the day.
  

Life with a 1 year old and a 3 year old

I used to get a little annoyed when some of my favorite bloggers had more than one child and, as a result, stopped posting as frequently. Now I understand. I'm not sure what has changed, but suddenly with a 3 year old and an almost 17 month old, our lives have kicked into overdrive. Reid has entered into the dreaded climbing stage, where he can get himself into the most precarious situations without any idea how to get himself out of them. If you've raised a toddler, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. During this stage, you (the parent) are always a little afraid that someone might think you're abusing your child, but really he's just clumsy and always hurting himself. His antics are really starting to stress his momma out! In one of his most recent accidents, he managed to face-plant on the concrete slab in our backyard which skinned his nose and caused it to bleed everywhere. Good grief.

Colin, totally unaware of how delicate Reid is, is always wanting to play with him. Often, their "play" involves toys that can easily become weapons, or some sort of awkward wrestling/tickling combo. As you can imagine, this requires quite a bit of supervision. It seems crazy to think that eventually I won't have to hover over them as they play together, and I look forward to that day. For now, though, Momma's gotta make sure nobody is going to get hurt, and needs to be there with a kiss and a Bandaid when somebody does.

Speaking of play time, we've also been spending a lot of time outside now that the weather has gotten so nice and warm. Tee ball is their current favorite activity. Colin practices batting (left-handed, as he is a definite lefty) and Reid is the ball boy, dutifully retrieving balls and placing them carefully on the tee for his big brother. Besides the occasional bat-to-face injury, it's really very cute.

The best part of spending so much time watching my kids play is that I'm getting to see their relationship develop as brothers. Colin loves "his baby" so much and is constantly correcting him if he does something wrong. He also talks sweetly to him and consoles him when he cries. Reid is Colin's "yes man," responding to every single question he asks with a resounding "yeah." Colin has learned this and will use it to his benefit. He'll ask excitedly, "Reid, do you want to go outside?" Reid will quickly say, "yeah!" and Colin will explain to us that Baby Reid wants to go outside, so we should all go.

While parenting these two is honestly pretty challenging most days, it is so amazing to watch them learn and grow. There is never a dull moment, that's for sure.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

When my kids were babies, I remember thinking that I just couldn't wait for them to start talking. Well, start talking they did, and now they don't ever stop. As frustrating as it can be sometimes to hear "Mamamamama" every two minutes, the cute and crazy things my kids say make it completely worthwhile.

Reid, of course, is not speaking in sentences just yet, although he does throw a "Hey, Dada" in there every once in a while. He loves to repeat us, though, and he is picking up new words all the time. Just this morning at daycare, he said "babbeh-bah" (basketball). 

He also says "Eh-yee" (Ellie, our dog's name), "moh" (more, complete with the sign language for the word), "uh-oooh" (love you"), and "ni-ni" (night night). He melts me about six times a day, basically.

Colin is a perfect three year old. And by that I mean, he's a hot mess. He has moments of absolute sweetness where he'll ask me for a kiss, or climb up into my bed for a midnight cuddle and fall asleep in my arms. But, because he's three, he is also full of energy, curiosity, silliness, and occasionally toddler rage. As a result, he says the most ridiculous, adorable and hilarious things. Here are a few recent examples:

"Momma, I want to watch 'Dis pickle of me' [Despicable Me]."

[From the backseat of my car] "Reid, want to hold hands?"

"Can Reid step in the dog poop? Reid, come here... look at this poop."

"Where is my picnic basket?" [meaning his Easter basket]

Me: "Colin, do you have a girlfriend?"
Colin: "Mmhmm."
Me: "You do? Who?"
Colin: "Mommy!!!"

"This is my engine turtle!!" [holding a NINJA turtle toy]

"Mommmyyyyyy.... [coughs and moans]... I have snot. [dramatically tries to breathe through nose, can't, cries]"

"When I was little, I turned into a baby. But now I'm growing bigger."

[I tell Colin we're going to play the "quiet game."] "I don't LIKE to play the quiet game. I want to play a LOUD GAME."

[Colin and Daddy walk out of Colin's room, after unsuccessfully trying to go down for a nap] "Momma, I missed you. That hurt my heart."



Oh, these kids. I just love them to pieces.