Can I let you in on a little secret? Neither do I.
I could say something clever, like, "With a little bit of coffee and a whole lot of Jesus." Which is true.
But if we're being real, there are a few little tricks that have helped me to cope with working a full time job outside the home, keeping the spark alive in my marriage and raising two man-cubs.
I have made expectations more realistic.
I used to get all bent out of shape because our house is never clean. Well, you know what? I have decided not to care about it anymore. There are so many other things I could be doing on a week night than picking up toys (which will only end up in the same spot mere hours later) or dusting the TV stand (that no one will see except us). Things like playing with trains on the floor with my boys, or being a customer in an imaginary restaurant or a passenger on a train. The cleaning can wait.
I have minimized my morning routine.
Don't get me wrong; I'm a girl who enjoys getting dressed up and going out once in a while. But who has time for a full hair and makeup routine every day? Not me. I do put on makeup for work, but I stick with the essentials: BB Cream, concealer, pressed powder, blush, a touch of eye shadow and mascara. The whole process takes like six minutes. As for my hair, I either wear it up in a clip or bun or wash and dry it the night before and touch it up with a flat iron in the morning.
I have reminded myself to be silly.
Busy people often have a bad habit of taking life too seriously. Some days, I feel like all I've done is work, worry, and discipline the kids. Why not do something silly and unexpected to break up the monotony? There's nothing like a good family dance party to lighten everyone's mood! Or sometimes we will all take turns telling knock-knock jokes (most of which don't make any sense and make us laugh even harder). Our kids also love to be tickled. And I do not. Which they, of course, take FULL advantage of.
I have made more of an effort to plan out our meals and shop accordingly.
Okay, so I am certainly not perfect in this area, but we've come a long way from eating fast food 3 or 4 times a week. Throughout the work week, as I have time, I use Pinterest and AllRecipes.com for meal inspiration and I make a rough menu for the week. Next, starting with the ingredients for the menu items and finally adding snacks, paper products, and whatever else we need, I write out a grocery list in order of where things are located in the store. (This may sound tedious, but it doesn't take much longer and it saves me so much time in the grocery store.) I usually get my shopping done on Saturday, either first thing in the morning or during nap time, while Justin stays home with the kids. About once a month, due to a severe lapse in judgment, we'll go shopping as a family and then swear to never do it again.. but inevitably, a month later, we'll try again.
I should note that we don't plan a meal for every single day of the week. We like to be flexible, so a couple days are left open for pizza, or cold-cut sandwiches, or whatever we're in the mood for.
I have prioritized my marriage.
Mignon McLaughlin once said, "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." Marriage is hard. Marriage with children is really hard. Marriage with children and two full-time jobs is crazy hard. Yes, there are days when we snap at each other for no good reason. There are days when we barely have the chance to talk until it's time for bed, and by then we're too tired. But because we love each other and want to make it work, we put in the effort. We fight to keep our love alive. Sometimes that means finding someone to watch the kids and sneaking away for a much-needed date. Sometimes, it means tucking the kids into their beds and cuddling on the couch as we watch some DVR'd episodes of our favorite TV shows. Sometimes, it's unloading the dishwasher together.
The point is, we know that our marriage is the foundation of our family. That if our relationship is stable and we're working together as a team, rather than against each other, our kids will see it and they will notice.
I have prayed.
Sometimes I'm so tired or frustrated that all I can do is sit in silence at the end of the day and pray for contentment. Our marriage is the foundation of our family, and God is the foundation of our marriage. See how that works? Faith is the glue that holds it all together. In those moments that I feel lost or fed up or I just don't know what to do, I pray. And God listens.
I am so blessed, and so thankful.
That's how I do it.
